psh. kainis!
this is so irritating.
why do i have o be part of something that i don't like?
two friends of mine are going to give a surprise gift for our friend's 18th birthday this month of May.
it's irritating because they have not done anything like that for me when i had my 18th birthday last month April. IT'S UNFAIR! so i didn't want to take any part of it. we were suppose to do it for her but i forgot about it over the weekend so we haven't planned anything... at least nothing that i am aware of. anyway, if they did got her that present, then it's fine with me. it doesn't matter.
it's disappointing in general. i don't get to have really BIG greeting cards or videos for me or some stuff or anything that alot of people have put together for my birthday. that's why, i always feel jealous whenever i see BIG cards signed by classmates for another classmate's birthday or see them make a video for a friend's birthday or see a friend receiving an awesome gift from a her really close friend or see people make plans for a surprise party for a friend's birthday.
honestly, i didn't feel like this before since i felt like i didn't need anything like those for my birthday. besides, my birthday is on the summer vacation. but that doesn't mean they can't think of those things for me. if they really are my friends then it will cross their minds that a friend's birthday is coming and how about a memorable way to celebrate it.
i just felt like this suddenly when i realised that things are getting unfair. i signed some of those really BIG cards that passes me in the classroom, and i am willing to be part of any surprise parties for a friend, and i am suppose to be in a video presentation for a friend's birthday but didn't want to be part of it because i realised that why would i do something like this when i don't even get one of these for my birthday?????
i have decided not to sign any really BIG cards for anyone's birthday except if it were for my best friend or any family member. if ever i'm going to be part of a surprise party, i guess i have no choice but to come unless i'm not really close to the dude or dudette then i am not coming.
and then, there is always a part of me that says otherwise.
it seems like my friends don't see me as someone to be given these things on my birthday. it seems like these things don't fit me and my personality.
but that's just me. i don't really know what they think of me. i wish i knew why they don't think about giving me those things for my birthday.
hay... maybe it's me. what is it about me that makes them not do those things? don't i deserve to have or experience to have one of those things???
DO I SCARE THEM??
:((listening to: "This Is Our Someday" by Big Time Rush
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