RE: RE: December 24, 2008 Post

about that friend, i saw her when i went to the state university to visit my best friend  for her birthday.

it turned out that yes, we were friends still which gave me a shock deep inside because who knew that we were still friends. i didn't know till then that she still considers me as a friend. i'm just glad that we still are.

and about the idea that she didn't let me have a chance to speak on her debut, maybe she knows that i really don't like talking in front of many people and i just might embarrass both of us. so it's all good :D

almost forgot, here's was my RE: December 24, 2008 Post

start of my 3rd year college life

it has only been 2 weeks of my 3rd year in college and i am already loving it!!!

well, not fully love it because i am not in the same classroom as my best friends in college. and there are some teachers that are either super boring or super scary. but most the time i can say that it is okay :D

i still meet with my friends during lunch onwards until some of them leave for school since they are in the night shift. we still buy milk tea and other foods that that we like.

and speaking of milk tea, before, i only knew of two milk tea stores which are Moon Leaf and Simple Line. now, i know Cha Dao. their Assam Creme is great btw.

then, our subjects, they not that hard or the teacher is teaching well enough that the topic is easy to understand.

i still have my daily routine to eat my packed breakfast in class but this time, lilke my summer class, i have tetra packed chocolate milk drinks :D

and recently, i just had a phone call with my best friend so i'm just glad that we are talking on the phone again like the usual :D

for now, i have homework and such and they are not yet that hard since it is still the start of the semester. but i am always ready to take on the challenges that lie ahead of me in these coming days, weeks, and months of school.

i hope i can give my best even more unlike before, so help me God.

PS. i am pretty much known by my new classmates already because i kind of FC'ed (FC=feeling close)them. but i can't call them friends because they are not the kind of people who would hang out with you during "breaks" --- with quotation marks because there aren't really break times but usually, professors come in class late and/or dismiss early :D

having our last PE in HIgh Fashion :D

so i saw someone read this post: about my last PE in my whole school life. i said there that i wanted Badminton to be my last PE ever. but due to peer pressure, it was not fulfilled. my last PE was all about Handball. i picked it because all my college barkada picked it and it was our last year together and our first semester in choosing our own PE didn't get us all in one and the same PE. anyway, even though it wasn't badminton, i had the time of my life! i was with my college best friends and PE couldn't be more fun than that! :D

in conclusion, no matter what i do in college, as long as it is with those 8 awesome friends of mine, every single second of whatever is super AWESOME! :D

RE: December 24, 2008 Post

OBVIOUSLY, this is a reply from my post 3 years ago. here's the link of what it was all about: December 24, 2008 Post

so i was strolling around my blog's design and statistics. whenever i do that, i would always go see the posts that were viewed by you guys who are apparently not leaving any comments whatsoever. and one of the posts that were viewed either yesterday or just today is the thing that i wrote on that date.

so i was complaining how i didn't do well with the third quarter exam when i was in my third year high school.

it turned out, on the fourth quarter, that i was one of the FREAKING Outstanding Students :))

it's funny because i complained so much and used the word "freaking" so much that i never thought in my life that i will ever be an outstanding student in that freaking school.

and about that friend of mine, she doesn't treat me as a friend anymore. she and i have nothing to talk about anymore and we have no connections whatsoever. even though we are friends in facebook, we don't talk and stuff. and anyway, we could've been tighter than ever if it weren't for the attitude that i put up in front of her in our last year of our high school. i had jealousy, bitterness, and broken friendship all bottled up inside that exploded in different days of that year. with that, we grew away so far that i guess she can't consider me as her friend anymore. to be honest as much as i want to remember her telephone number, i can't recall the whole 7-digit of it. i only remember the first three but the next digits are all blank.

anyway, she's happy without me. i mean i am not a lost to her. she even has a boyfriend already. and i guess we were not meant to be friends for a longer period of time. but for sure, we were meant to learn lessons from each other; well, at least i learned so much from our four-year friendship.

so that is all. ha! and i am proud to say that for once in my entire life in that school, i have been an OUTSTANDING STUDENT! :D

What My Name Says About Me

this app in facebook just scared the hell out of me because it was too accurate :DD

it's because it is true. i do sometimes or most of the times because i have to say, i kind of or really sometimes judge a book by its cover. it's because it is inevitable. i notice even the smallest details that i can't possibly just bottle up all those tiny details or else i might explode! hehe. just kidding. i won't explode. i'm not even half fat.

about the second sentence, i do need to do that. because most of the times or maybe a couple of times, i suffer because at those times, i don't even think about my own feelings. because sometimes, i'm too nice which is bad. because of this, there are times when i give the last one i have and end up with nothing.

and the last sentence is super true! i have been facing so many challenges. i am currently challenged to regret nothing and just be happy with what i have now. i guess i feel bitter about one thing. that one thing is something that i always thought that i have moved on from. it's about being admitted at the country's state university.

you see, since i am the eldest, just like the science experiments, i am the experimental variable that is to be tested to see if a theory is correct. this means that if they believe in this, and wonder if it applies to this, i am the one who gets experimented with. (you get it, right. i don't have to elaborate on this) anyway, so since that is always the case, sometimes, it is a good thing that i was first to try so i will be the FIRST to experience it. but most of the times, it is a bad thing because as we all know, when we do trial and error method, there is a very high probability that we will get a wrong answer. that is me. whenever my parents experience something new, because of the advancement that is occurring in our generation, they try whatever it is that they think is the right way on me. which sucks. because most of the times, they get the negative results from me and so to avoid the same mistake, they already know what to do and my younger brother gets the positive results. thing is, there is a review center that can help you to pass the state university's entrance exam. so, since my parents are like: that's too expensive for a review center and the review center itself is far from home and you are a girl. even if you passed, you can't go anyway because it is too far and we can't let you live in a dorm. that's what they said.

and so, in short, i didn't even try to give effort into passing the entrance exam of the state university. because i knew of these things that my parents had to say and i was discouraged... NOT! i didn't have hope anyway. in the first place, i reviewed for entrance exams in my high school itself. and they lack in the topics that have to be reviewed for the exam. and the environment was so lax! didn't have motivation. in the review center, they had quizzes once every meeting. no wonder! tsk. so i am bitter. only when the subject comes up the surface. and i am not afraid to tell my parents face to face that i do regret not being able to pass the state university's entrance exam. because i told them that my friends from high school are offering me to be part of a bundle that has a lower fee but at the same time has the right things to teach for entrance exams. but they refused. told me that it was expensive and the review is far. but remembered clearly that i told them that i was going to the center with a friend who lives nearby. so, i was and still am and will be the trial child :(( as long as i'm still studying and there are still upcoming advancements, i will always be the trial child.

and the sad part is that i am still happy about the fact that my brother was able to pass the state university's entrance exam. i pretend that i am ok and not jealous at my brother. yeah sure. why shouldn't i be happy? i was the one who brought him to the review center and had to wait there for 5 hours until his review is done for the day. why wait for that long? well, i am not familiar with the place, so i don't know how to go about it. but it doesn't matter because he passed! :D and all my waiting was worth it. since i am bitter about that, all i can be happy about is that i am having fun right now in the university that i am going to because of my awesome best friends. another thing that i can be happy about and forget about that bitterness is that my brother just passed that freaking entrance exam! hayzzz... i want to feel what he feels right now because whether i like it or not he has a lot of bragging rights with him right now. he just passed freaking state university where all the graduates don't have to apply for job because those job will have to fight for you.

now, aside from no having an edge since i am not studying in the state university, i still have to put a lot of effort so jobs will fight for me as well. about that, i think my chances of experiencing that is lessened since i will be taking the retention exam this summer. that's right. i screwed up the first semester but i passed; i just wasn't able to reach the minimum grade to have to not take the retention exam. so, yeah.

because of all of this,  i am working my butt off! ........ NOT REALLY! well, at least not always. but whenever there is something to be done for school, i always feel like giving it more than my all.  and since the tuition fee is more than twice of the state university's, i am obliged to show my parents that i am worth it. that is what i have to put up with since i didn't pass the state university's entrance exam. i have to prove myself. i have to be positive. i have to reach a goal that is SUPER DUPER HIGH! almost impossible to reach is what i say. but there is a probability to reach if i give super duper extra effort.

talk about myself! i guess i am an expert when it comes to myself. i mean, if there is anyone who knows me the best, it's only me and God. even, God knows me more than i know myself. so He knows what i am capable of. and He won't give me any challenge that i can't surpass with flying colors. that is why, i am not losing hope. even when i knew i wasn't going to study in the state university, i had the last drop of hope in me. there was little hope but i still had hope. and i guess part of me was to be blamed. i guess since i had little hope, i didn't give it my all... or did i. all i know is that i answered the exam with everything that i know. so, perhaps, what i know wasn't enough. i still have to learn. that is why i keep an open mind. if i don't, there is no room for improvement and i will not become a better person.

so that's me. feeling bitter here and then when the topic is surfaced. but truthfully, feeling happy and proud of the fact that my brother made it. and i guess that this is all God's plan and indeed, i am learning from the mistake of not having that much hope. also, since God can see that i am giving my effort now, He gave me awesome friends who help me forget about transferring schools or forget about being bitter of that experience.

i am now feeling much better. well, better since the topic is going to be surfaced for the week since my brother passed and the results just came in yesterday.  so if ever the bitterness starts to show up, i'll just have to think about the awesome things that i have with my college best friends especially the things that happened starting about 6 and a half hours ago and ended 2 hours later that time.

we stayed for 2 hours in our friend's apartment to celebrate the end of preliminary exams for the semester. we had milk tea from Moon Leaf and there wintermelon with pudding is good. music played in my friend's room and we were singing and dancing and laughing about past experiences which are of course funny to imitate :))) especially the one that i did in the library. that is another story but really, i love my friends. they make my day :D

and oh yeah! i told three of them about this blog's site and maybe they'll read this so, HI FRIENDS! :D

and that is what my name says about me. A LOT! it says so much that it was too accurate. and because it was accurate and precise as well, i was able to reflect about myself and come to accept that this is me and somehow i guess i have to change my down sides and strengthen my up sides, learn from my mistakes and rejoice from the right things i do, and avoid to revenge and regret and remember to always forgive and forget like i always do :D

i'm out! PEACE! :D CONGRATZ TO MY BROTHERHOOD! :DDDD

friends... again

i miss my old friends. i wish i kept them with me even though we had new set of friends. i guess it was too late for me to learn to find new friends while still holding on to the old ones. but now, i regret this. i can't even comment on their statuses on facebook and i think if i will be messaging them, it would be weird for them. so yeah. i miss them. those guys in nursery and kindergarten. we had fun in school and in the school bus. i used to copy some of their answers in the kinder exams and i used to sit with them in the small round and rectangle tables. i used to sleep with them on the corners of the school bus. i used to play with them during recess time. we took some pictures too but we were kids and we just wanted to have more friends. and in the process, we weren't able to keep hold of one another as we found ourselves and found other friends who resemble the same interests and same laughter.

this is what i want on a future birthday celebration. it doesn't matter how old i will be but, i want one of my future birthday celebrations to have all my nursery, kindergarten, prep, elementary, high school, and college best friends. it would be fun! :D

excited?!?!??!!?

i posted about my college friends because i had so much fun with them last time during the enrollment when we finally met after not meeting one another ever since last school year's last day.

there was some pissing off that happened because we weren't able to meet up properly. but after all that, we were able to get to the usual things we do like hang out in our friend's apartment that's near our school :)

now, because of that, i can't wait till classes start!!!!!

by the way, i am also excited about our friend's debut that will be this coming Sunday. and one of my college friend is going to sleepover here in my house! although it is unfair for my best friend since she hasn't slept over in my house yet, this is an emergency. college friend lives in another city and can't go home alone so late at night in a cocktail dress. so, since my house is near the school, she can sleepover here then in the afternoon the next day, i'll send her to school then she can go home by herself from school. nice plan eh?

i'm so excited!!!!! :D

talk about friendship

it's all about my college friends.

we are all together awesome. i don't see anything that might make the group fall apart, even if one of our comrades was put in a separate section from the rest of the gang.

but if there was one who would be left without any partner, i always think that it would be me. it's normal since we are nine in the group (ten really but the one has another group and she usually go with them). even so, that would be fine with me. i don't know why but i feel like for the first time, i am not left out. at least that's what i think. i was never left out yet, in this group. i don't know. who knows? i think, this, because i feel like the bond between the nine of us is very strong. this may be because we all speak our minds, no matter how weird or how much it might make us feel guilty or hurt, we are all honest to one another. we tell one another's fault and we take these things positively and critically. though, there are times when some get to be a little bit too much and things get bad, it passes by quickly that everything returns to normal and the guilty side tries to be careful next time.

sometimes, you are the one being picked on and some times , you are the one who is picking on. it's a give and take process. so if you take things too seriously, you lose. but i don't mean that we don't take college seriously because we do. we want to graduate together in the same university, in the same course, in the same period of time. it's just that, we know when to kid around and when it's time to focus. we are awesome that way.

we may not connect in some topics that other members of the group are talking about but we still have someone to talk with. or, if there is one who is the only one who doesn't know anything about the certain topic, he or she will be informed right away during the conversation. there no secrets whatsoever. sometimes, one may be told to keep a secret from others, but surely, that won't work because the one who is telling the secret ends up telling herself or himself to other members about his or her secret. though one secret about his love-life was successfully kept from some members, this only served as a lesson to all the members not to be absent in group gatherings so they don't miss personal talks. but if that would be unavoidable, then we would all understand.

i feel happy with them. we can be different kinds of people but we do get along well, most of the times :) there can be misunderstandings but everything gets cleared out anyway. we support one another and when we are divided by the choice we have to choose, we still cheer one another.

i just wish we stay as close as possible through the hardships that we will be facing in college. i hope we stick together like the way my best friend i are sticking with each other even if we are studying in different colleges now :D

anyway, other things may happen. we are only a year together and there are many things that may happen in the succeeding years. at least, i don't want this group to disband like how i have been in my past friendship experiences, when a group is made, it gets disbanded 1-2years after... i don't want to experience something like that again :P because, before, in the end, instead of making my circle of friends grow, it just gets smaller and other lines of communication are cut off. i don't know why before, i always get involve in a group with at least 3 members that includes me and i don't even get to merge these small groups of mine. it seems to me that i don't think these different small groups of mine can connect to one another.

i am down down down down down...

psh. kainis!

this is so irritating.

why do i have o be part of something that i don't like?

two friends of mine are going to give a surprise gift for our friend's 18th birthday this month of May.

it's irritating because they have not done anything like that for me when i had my 18th birthday last month April. IT'S UNFAIR! so i didn't want to take any part of it. we were suppose to do it for her but i forgot about it over the weekend so we haven't planned anything... at least nothing that i am aware of. anyway, if they did got her that present, then it's fine with me. it doesn't matter.

it's disappointing in general. i don't get to have really BIG greeting cards or videos for me or some stuff or anything that alot of people have put together for my birthday. that's why, i always feel jealous whenever i see BIG cards signed by classmates for another classmate's birthday or see them make a video for a friend's birthday or see a friend receiving an awesome gift from a her really close friend or see people make plans for a surprise party for a friend's birthday.

honestly, i didn't feel like this before since i felt like i didn't need anything like those for my birthday. besides, my birthday is on the summer vacation. but that doesn't mean they can't think of those things for me. if they really are my friends then it will cross their minds that a friend's birthday is coming and how about a memorable way to celebrate it.

i just felt like this suddenly when i realised that things are getting unfair. i signed some of those really BIG cards that passes me in the classroom, and i am willing to be part of any surprise parties for a friend, and i am suppose to be in a video presentation for a friend's birthday but didn't want to be part of it because i realised that why would i do something like this when i don't even get one of these for my birthday?????

i have decided not to sign any really BIG cards for anyone's birthday except if it were for my best friend or any family member. if ever i'm going to be part of a surprise party, i guess i have no choice but to come unless i'm not really close to the dude or dudette then i am not coming.

and then, there is always a part of me that says otherwise.

it seems like my friends don't see me as someone to be given these things on my birthday. it seems like these things don't fit me and my personality.

but that's just me. i don't really know what they think of me. i wish i knew why they don't think about giving me those things for my birthday.

hay... maybe it's me. what is it about me that makes them not do those things? don't i deserve to have or experience to have one of those things???

DO I SCARE THEM??

:((

listening to: "This Is Our Someday" by Big Time Rush

April is here! :P

IT'S APRIL!!! And it's 10 days from my 18th birthday. in Filipino tradition, they do things like a debut party for girls. i for one set myself into thinking that i should not have one because i don't how it works and i will not attempt to find out. it is okay for me to attend friends' debuts but i am not planning to have one. i don't think it's my style to do such thing because yes, i am a social person but i don't think my friends that are new and old be able to jive in feel comfortable if they are all gathered in one place. also, if they are gathered in one place where i happen to be in, i won't know which of the the groups of friends should i talk to. what if i over talk with the other group and the other feels left out. i don't want that and maybe i'll just gather them someday that is not on my 18th birthday. i am not yet ready to gather them all, though i already have lots.

today, on my agenda, i have to pick up my younger brother's report card then go to the dentist so she can remove my braces and probably replace them with retainers or remove them for good. after these, i'm going to resume to my training program that i am having with our (my brother's and mine) Black and White Pokemon. speaking of training programs, i might have an actual program of tutoring. if the word tutor will cross my dentist's mind, then i would be engaged, this summer in tutoring her daughter in mathematics. i don't how it will work, i mean how the scheduling will happen so i'll just leave it to the future to surprise me.

talk about school, i have seen my report grades online. grades not card because it was in a software form. so there were no cards given. this coming friday, i will be going to school to get cleared and get the hard copy of clearance.

then back to friends, i will be hanging out with my best friend this Wednesday, at the TriNoMa after lunch -- looking forward to this :D

so now, after my brother finishes his bath, it will be my turn so we can get his report card as early as possible.

byie! :D